Blogger eh?…

Sorry for the delay in finally posting this, who knew it took so much time to actually write down what goes on in your day whilst having a toddler launch apples at your face. That’s the same apples I found in this little train above.

I’m writing this at 11.30am and already I am demented. Why is this you say? Well, the upstairs neighbours (I live in a beautiful flat that has definitely no sign of any antisocial behaviour or drug activity going on) have got their music belting out and both are trying to out do each other at getting the last word in with their argument. I know I sound total ranty but sometimes it’s good when they start, especially when I can walk to each of my rooms to hear the end off the drama.

You all know me well enough so I am not going to start writing who I am and how many sprogs I have – I dont really know what I am doing to be honest so I will just write down exactly what goes on in my little head daily.

So I was telling you about how demented I am, done the school run whilst having Miss Polly had a dolly belting out my car with the two nuggets in the back totally loving life. My favourite is Vengaboys but we usually only play this on a Friday as it gives us that little buzz we all need for the weekend… the weekend off wiping bums and noses.  We were a bit early for football so went up to my mums where I still have a key (HA!) so made ourselves at home for a wee half hour. Then took Ollie over to football training. As it’s within the nusery, I need to stay to supervise him (basically stand looking like a plum) and I gave him the weekly lecture of ‘Remember and use your listening ears and do not run about unless you are told’ before I could finish this, the wee arse had already started being the class clown. Why does he not listen? He is only two but I mean other two year olds were there totally showing us up. STOP ROLLING ON TOP OF PEOPLE AND KICK THE GOD DAMN BALL OLLS! Ten minutes in and he’s got the shoe off shaking it about. I thought nah sack this, scooped the wee bugger up and left. I hate being all mumsy and making a point of him not behaving, especially when it was roasting outside and I was wanting to be a pure bronzed babe. Not today then. So the usual happened, screaming match, couple of tantrums and a wee smack to my face – I held it together by the way – No tears from me. Well done Stephers.

Nap time – my favourite time. The little man goes for a nap and I get to sit and drink wine, just kidding. Im going to tackle at least 3 packets of space raiders. Thats how crazy I get.

My livingroom looks like a bomb has hit it, can you say that now? Is that allowed? I actually get so nervous these days, especially with me writing this stuff down – it’s evidence! I’m sure I can see a wee bit toast from last night between the chair and the table. Might just leave that there, I’m sure Ollie will gub that when he gets up. This flat is something else, it’s pretty big considering but it’s only temporary, I will fill you in with details eventually. Yay, just seen the bin guys emptying my wee bin, I am heading straight out there to collect my bin before it gets A- Set on fire B- Stolen or C- Both. The downside of living in a flat is that all the bins congregate outside together, me being the cheapskate genius that I am,  made a little sign out of paper and wrapped it with clingfilm (so smart) that has my door number on it – You would think that would stop arseholes from firing in their own rubbish eh? Nope. Oh look another rant…

On that note, I’m going to crack open they pickled onion bad boys and Ollie’s woke up so I’ll need to eat them in the bathroom so he doesn’t harrass me in to sharing.