Wow !!

Holy moly. The feedback I have received from my previous ‘blog’ is overwhelming, the good overwhelming not like omg don’t touch me I’m going to cry kind of overwhelming.

I’ll tell you what’s far from that feeling? Upstairs running about with bricks for shoes. What even are they doing up their? Stephers the newly launched blogger, is trying to get pure in to writers mode 😂 – see my little hint off Motherwell twang sneaking in there? It’s good for adding drama I think…PURE DRAMA.

Anyways, I’ve had a great day so far. Had a brilliant sleep last night thanks to my mums answer to anything sore ‘two tablets and a cup off tea’. I’ll fill you in on my Thursday night thoughts below …

Jesus Christ, apologies but my backs fucked to put it politely (sorry Gran) so last night, floating away to Tramadol town as you do and I thought to myself – uh it’s just so great when they both fall a sleep at the same time. Ollie only threw thirty one tantrums today, hmm he also clocked poor Emily right in the beak with his toy drill and if I’m sure Ems only had one tantrum? It was a cracker though, the kind where they first of all go all high pitched and then go all floppy, then turn into little rigid logs keeping completely still as they loose the bloody plot. I must not laugh. I must not laugh.

Then there’s Blair. I wasn’t going to mention him as he out does me in everything funny. How can you have so many mutual friends and yet never heard of each other? I have never laughed so much, he calls me Rod, sometimes Bonjovi depending on how humid the air is outside (Fro problems) or for a week it was ‘Frankenstein Heed’. Yes you heard correctly, Frankenstein Head. I’ll explain. However don’t judge me. So after years or frowning and screwing my face up mainly at the Tv, I decided I was going to get Botox. I know what you’re thinking, ‘you’re only twenty six’ ‘are you mental’ the answer is yes, I was sick of that big crease between my eyebrows and my extreme coverage (but not extreme enough) foundation sinking in to my spam lines. I done all my research, watched a couple YouTube videos and thought this is so for me! I imagined my creasless face looking all gorge as I gave myself a cheeky smile in the mirror each morning. No. Of course not. That would be to simple for me. I end up with a hyper right eyebrow that can’t control its self when ever I slightly move and a frozen straight eyebrow. Hence the name Frankenstein head. As one eyebrow was so frozen is weighed my eyelid down slightly, so one eye actually looked smaller than the other. FFS! Why can’t I just get Botox like a normal person? Anyways long story short, it sorted itself out after two weeks of walking about with a face like Joan Rivers.

Oh yeah, so today! My little lamb had her assembly at school where she had her own lines to stand up and say !!! All I could think to myself was please don’t dab! Instead she decided to stand and dance like Mr Bean at the part where they had to do their own moves, you when he stands up and let’s his hands flop about by his sides whilst swaying? Yep, that’s Emily.

She nailed it! I just love how she is so well behaved at school and then her diva attitude side comes out as soon as she steps foot out with those school gates. I just love it. What terrifies me is that she actually remind myself of me when I was little – a complete cutie obviously.
The kids are now off to their dads for the weekend which means I am now FREEEE!!! Well, for a few days. I’m contemplating googling candy floss cocktails as I keep seeing them pop up on my news feed. Or maybe crack open that little bottle of wine that I know is desperate to get out of that fridge.

Things I have learned over the last 24 hours.

1. I must not do the school run without my purse and then realise I have 10 miles worth of petrol then sweat everytime there’s traffic.
2. I cannot strut about in my gym gear all day kidding on I’ve actually been to the gym.
3. Do not wear said gym gear in to McDonald’s…that’s embarrassing. ‘Oh hey guys, just had a smashing workout and now I’m going to stuff my face with a large peri peri wrap, don’t forget those cheese bites now gal!’
4. Learn to park…